For the last couple of months I have been unhappy with several things.
To clarify, my marriage is maybe better than ever, I feel like I’ve made peace with motherhood, we found a church we feel good about, and I’ve reached a point in my life where I don’t feel the need to be liked by people, or included with people, who suck the life out of me (to be a bit dramatic).
But personally, I was letting myself go. I still exercised regularly and cooked almost all of our meals but I was eating like crap and being a bum. I was spending too much time, way too much, on my phone and reading books (equal to having a problem with binge watching tv shows). I’m not happy with the way I unintentionally raise my kids and run my household, which is to say I wasn’t really doing either. And we must be spending money on things we don’t need because I don’t know why we don’t have more left at the end of every month.
I have headaches all the time. I never have energy. And I just didn’t feel good.
So despite having less anxiety, almost no stress, and generally feeling happy – I don’t feel good.
Around mid-August, I started researching the Whole 30 method. I’ve looked into other programs but this one stuck out to me for several reasons which I may or may not get around to sharing another day. The main reason being that I want to be intentional about what I eat but don’t do well with elimination and portion control. Limiting how much I eat each a day just makes me hungry and angry. My family doesn’t deserve that. Yes, Whole 30 is grain free, dairy free, sugar free, and alcohol free…but I can deal with that as long as I can eat as much fruits, veggies, and protein as I want to or even need to.
My hope is that through eating more intentionally, I can get rid of the 15 pounds I’ve gained since last summer, hopefully have headaches less frequently, have more energy, and just stop feeling like a lazy ass slug. Bonus: maybe some of my clothes will fit again and just maybe Anna will stop asking me if I’m having another baby, bless her heart.
The Whole 30 is a major life renovation for some people. It knocks them off their feet. But it’s not that big of a change for me. I already meal plan, cook all of our meals, and like black coffee. Thirty days of no beer, lattes, doughnuts, pancakes, tacos, pizza, or a sandwich sucks but it’s not remotely impossible.
So why no add a few more switcher-oos while we’re at it?
Wholeness is more that physical health after all.
September is also a month of no Target, no fiction, and no reading anything until I’ve read my Bible. It is a month of personal development and parenting books. It is a month of knocking out a handful of projects around the house – some that need done and some that I’ve just wanted to do. Looking ahead, we’re planning on doing the Financial Peace University deal through our church in October.
At the beginning of this year, and last year I believe, I decided that my focus word would be ‘Intentional.’
I have sucked at being Intentional. Also, it seems like such an annoying buzzword. [eye roll]
September: I’m going to try to be more intentional about myself even if it’s just for 30 days. Here is is, written down and shared. May that be the first step towards success!