Cream, set of 4 plus 2 for a total of 6
Christmas 2021
It’s once again the time of year for me to pull out my list of passwords so I can remember how to sign on to this thing and figure out my Christmas wish list.
I’m having a hard time this year…I don’t know what to get my kids, my husband, or what I’d even want for myself. I’ll start with the tried and true method and see what happens.
Some I want: This propagation situation. This cookie scoop.
Something I need: New black pants, seriously. There’s a pair I like on Amazon but they’re expensive.
Something to wear: This sweatshirt. This shirt. I’ve wanted this shirt for a long time as well. (I’m a Medium)
Something to read: I would love copies of “Fable,” and “Namesake,” by Adrienne Young. Other books on my wish list are
- Good Enough, Kate Bowler and Jessica Richie
- The Making of Biblical Womanhood, Beth Allison Barr
- God of Covenant, Jen Wilkin
- The Hard Good, Lisa Whittle
- Saving Grace, Kirsten Powers
- All the Birds in the Sky, Charlie Jane Anders
That’s all I’ve got for now. I also need some soup bowls and arguably new dishes but I haven’t come up with a solution yet.
Trip
I recently went on a trip to Nashville with some friends from college to visit a friend who was grieving the loss of her sister.
One night, while sitting around the table after eating too much pizza, the friend who lost her sister just started talking and I could have listened to her all night long. Some people are just so wise, ya know?
Anyway, she kept saying:
“God’s kindness is interwoven through everything if you pay attention and have eyes to see.”
And I can’t stop thinking about it.
I also noted that she said, “Jesus is a reflection of who God is”…”Keeping your hopes up is the most risky thing you can do, but that’s what faith is”…and, “The worst effing moments in life are where you see God’s kindness woven in.”
I haven’t experience any real first hand traumatic loss but I’m not naïve enough to think I never will. I want to remember these words. I want to be able to share them with people.
That’s all.
Christmas 2020
I have several posts I’ve written and not published – I probably never will so let’s move on.
Me
This mirror or something similar. I really want a big brass one but they’re always out of stockSpin bikeThis PictureA new couch 🙂A Berkey or reverse osmosis
All the little goober gnome things everywhere
This picture frame or something like it
Drew
Work boots
AnnaA fun chair
Bennett“Probably some more books”
CalebA blue rug
It’s a long story.
A couple weeks ago I suffered some sort of curse that heavily resembled food poisoning. I thought maybe I had the flu but I live with 4 other people and none of them even sort of caught what I had. It all went down on a Friday. I slept most of Saturday and in to Sunday forcing Drew to take the kids to hours and hours of swim lessons without me.
As I was snoozing away, Drew called and asked me to bring the insurance cards to him because Caleb took a tumble and possibly needed sewn back up. I called my parents on the way and they sat with the older two while Bennett finished his lesson and we whisked Caleb off to the Pediatric ER at Lutheran Hospital where we received the most excellent care by their lovely staff. Six stitches later we all realized that the same doctor doing Caleb’s fixer upper is who put Anna’s elbow back together when she was 5 or so.
The flu and your five year old getting stitches is a lot in one weekend.
Some other things happened that aren’t my story to tell.
Taxes happened – the government hates us for being financially responsible.
Then Tuesday night Anna got the incessant cough. Bennett has been coughing for weeks but it doesn’t effect his sleep. Anna is the opposite. We were up all night with her trying all the tricks. I decided not to send her to school on Wednesday. I had a plan of working Wednesday night, extra hours Thursday, and extra hours Friday so that I didn’t have to use vacation time to stay home (I went full time at the Y in January but my sick days haven’t kicked in yet). Around lunch time on Wednesday she wasn’t looking so good so I took her temp at it was 103.7. Drew was able to take a vacation day Thursday and stay home so I could stay on track with my hours.
So on Thursday I took the boys to school and went to work while Drew stayed home with Anna trying to get her fever down. I met some of the administrative assistants from other Y’s in town at a restaurant for lunch. We were updating each other on our lives since the last time we had lunch and my phone rang: the school. I assumed one of the boys had picked up Anna’s germs. Wrong. I was not prepared for what they told me:
“Hi Carrie, Bennett got his finger stuck in a bench at recess. We can’t get it out so we’ve called the fire department. Can you run over real quick and maybe help us calm him down a little bit so we can get it out?”
Of course I was across town and not across this street.
As I drove the, I don’t know, 8 minutes, to the school my mind kind of went nuts. Why didn’t I ask questions? What did any of this even mean? Does he still have a finger? What bench? Is their blood? WHAT IS HAPPENING??
Sure enough. His finger was stuck. He was pretending to be a cat walking across the bench and his one finger just slipped in the hole and got stuck. He said his fingers have gone in their before but they always come out. THIS KID HAS THE LONGEST SKINNIEST FINGERS. What is happening? Look at these fingers:
They tried soap, hand sanitizer, windex, the string trick. Nothing would work. It was swollen and freezing cold and NOTHING WOULD WORK. They turned the bench on it’s side so he could sit and try to elevate his finger to see if the swelling would go down. Nothing. So they got out the bolt cutters and cut a little square out of the bench so he could go inside. We tried soaking it to see if we could get it to prune and slide out. Nope. It just kept swelling. The one fire fighter wasn’t happy with the color of his finger so Drew brought sick little Anna to the school and we prepared to head back to the ER.
Let me just say, these firefighters were the best. Fire Station 1. The teachers and administrators at the school were the best. They tried their bests for so long. I’m so grateful for them all.
So Drew gets Benny buckled in and I took Anna to my dad, who was getting off work shortly, and he brought her back to our house. Caleb stayed at school. I arrive to the ER and WE HAD THE SAME DOCTOR! Her name is Stephanie and she’s amazing. There was also another guy who was helping her, Elisha.
They tried soap, sanitizer, cleaner, and the string trick. They tried the ring cutter and just couldn’t get it in there because of the swelling.
So, how did we get his finger unstuck? The Lutheran Hospital Maintenance guy, Dave. He used a dremel to cut the piece of bench down enough that Elisha could get a better angle with the ring cutter. The orthopedic doctor came and checked on his finger and said it looked okay. They worked slowly but surely with the dremel and a bucket of ice to cool it off when it got too hot. Finally, after 3-4 hours, the finger was free. It’s fine – not even sore.
What.In.The.Actual.
Also, back track for a second, my mom and I put together a group of women to do a Bible study. The plan was to have it at our house Thursdays at 6:30. We were already scrambling to relocate because of Anna’s fever. Then the whole bench finger thing. I was beat. BUT – ain’t no one gonna hold me down, oh no, I had to keep on moving.
What could be more relaxing that a hot cup of tea during Bible study? I boiled that water and got my tea going in my insulated travel mug to steep while I made the drive to my friend Amy’s house. I turned a corner and half of the boiling hot tea spilled in my seat. While I was driving through traffic. I had to just keep going. My leg hurt so, so bad. I had a couple of burns but nothing requiring medical attention. Thankfully Amy and I wear the same sized sweat pants and I could borrow hers when I got there.
BUT COME ON.
It’s weird to be in a place where all of these dumb things keep happening but nothing is actually that bad, ya know? I eventually stopped puking, Caleb’s leg healed, we had the money to pay the taxes, Anna’s fever will go away, Bennett still has a finger, and my burn isn’t debilitating. Even if I have a scar, it’s on my butt. Haha. But I am tired.
I am so grateful for my boss and everyone at the Y who is so flexible and supportive and concerned about my little family. I am so thankful for the staff at the Pediatric ER at Lutheran….and oddly enough, for their maintenance department. I am thankful for the Firefighters in this town, who I’ve spent more time with that I’d like, no offense. And the faculty and staff at St. Paul’s – I’m beyond thankful for every single one of them. You guys, my parent’s, I don’t even know how many times they’ve dropped everything to come help. We are so fortunate to have them so close and so willing to be there for us. Drew, my voice of reason when I’m losing my mind…how could I do life without him? My friend Amy, who just stepped up and rearranged everything so Bible study could go on and she was just here: take these pants and I put a towel in your van and my daughter is on her way with ice packs. I am blessed, for sure.
And God. I’m just so so so…thankful for my faith in God. How do you even have hope when it seems like everything is going so wrong if you don’t have Jesus?
So all that to say…don’t feel bad for me, for us. We’re all okay. It’s just a lot and I mostly wanted to document it. This story was not Facebook post length.
2019 Books
I didn’t read as many books in 2019 as I have in recent years and I believe there are a few logical and understandable reasons why.
- I read the whole Bible. Arguably 66 books, which would bring my total to 88. But let’s not get carried away on technicalities. It counts as one big book that occupied a majority of my prime reading time, 5-7AM.
- I worked more. I doubled by hours at the Y and as we head into 2020 I’m going to double my hours again (yup, full time job, here I come!). I also switched jobs so I no longer had the luxury of reading at work while I waited on members to need things. It’s fine, I love it.
- I watched seasons 1-4 of Outlander twice and seasons 1 & 2 three times. I also watched The Witcher, season 1, in about 2 days. I know.
- I started watching Grey’s Anatomy. I picked up just after George died because that was the last thing I remembered. In my defense, I’ve been using GA as an emotional crutch to avoid dealing with my own very real emotions regarding the official loss of my SAHM status (aka: essentially having days every week to do whatever I want) and the fact that my Grandpa’s health is declining, he’s been put in a nursing home, and my Grandma is alone to deal with it all. It’s just not the way it should be but crying about the death and heartbreak of fictional characters is an outlet I can deal with. True confession: i spent almost an entire Saturday in the basement with the lights off drinking beer at 2PM and binging almost 4 episodes in a row. Drew took the kids shopping to let me wallow.
- We sold our house and bought a new one. There was a lot to do and there still is and I’m not the queen of getting it done, but I did do a lot, so there’s that.
THE BOOKS
1. If I Fix You, Abigail Johnson (I don’t remember this at all)
2. Eliza and Her Monsters, Francesca Zappia (enjoyable)
3. I’ll Give You the Sun, Jandy Nelson (A re-read, a favorite).
4. The Sky is Everywhere (Same as #3)
5. Circe, Madeline Miller
6. Tiger Lily, Jodi Lynn Anderson (Re-read, a favorite)
7. Truest, Jackie Lea Sommers
8. Dare to Lead, Brene Brown (GO READ IT NOW)
9. Mom Truths, Cat & Nat
10. Remind Me, Samantha Chase
11. Redeeming Love, Francine Rivers (Good, but this took me a looonnng time to get through)
12. Daisy Jones & the Six, Taylor Jenkins Reid
13. The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, Taylor Jenkins Reid (The better of the two, imho)
14. Parenting, Paul David Tripp (GREAT!)
15. Inspired, Rachel Held Evans (I think my favorite of the year)
16. Women of the Word, Jen Wilken (highly recommend)
17. King of Scars, Leigh Bardugo
18. All Our Broken Pieces, LD Crichton
19. Wicked Lovely, Melissa Marr (enjoyable, but no desire to read the rest of the series)
20. Miracles and Other Reasonable Things, Sarah Bessey (This prompted me to buy her other books, it’s so very good).
21. The Bible
**I started a number of books that I never finished, mostly on my Kindle app, but most noteably, The Ninth House, by Leigh Bardugo. I love the Six of Crows books (I mean, really, I have a tshirt), The Grishaverse series, and King of Scars but LB’s newest book was too dark and too much for me.
Headed into 2020 I’m going to attempt the #ReadMyBooks challenge by Jessica Turner and finish all the books I have that I’ve never read or never finished. There are some real good ones in my stack that I have no good reason for not finishing. Mostly non-fiction so I’m sure to emerge from the end of this year a better Christian, parent, leader, and person. Haha. We’ll see. And do not fret, I gave The Ninth House away so I’m under no obligation to finish it.
**I would like to defend myself (to what, myself? I don’t know that anyone knows I still occasionally spew shit on here so I’m talking to myself, right?) in regards to the amount of TV I watched this year. With the exception of that one day in the basement with Meredith Grey, I almost never ever sit down and watch TV. I watched almost the entirety of the Outlander series as was currently available and The Witcher while standing in my kitchen doing dishes or cooking and/or standing in the bathroom curling my hair. I realize I am unable to fully grasp the cinematic brilliance of said shows this way, but, it is what it is.
Goodbye 2019
January 1, 2020
I don’t know what I was getting on here to even say. I guess just to record the goals I had for 2019. I had some lofty goals and we did them. Others will just roll over.
All in all, 2019 was a pretty good year. The whole mess with my Grandpa around Christmas is a bit of a down but I mostly just choose not to talk about it at all. Anyway, about those goals…
Pay off Amazon CC
Pay off Old Navy CC
Emergency Fund We actually saved it, spent it, saved it, spent it, and saved it again.
Read the Bible I did it! The whole thing!
Re-read some of my favorite books I read a bunch of my favorites, but not all of them
Read all of the non-fiction on my “Too Read” shelf – haha, not even close
Get a full time job Technically I don’t start until Jan 7 but I did sign the paper work in 2019
Buy a new house
Sell the old house
Attend an Enneagram seminar
Don’t use credit cards, ever We did it. It’s doable
DEBT FREE Our biggest accomplishment, by far. Not done by ourselves, but done.
Find a hobby
Group Exercise certification
Throw a bunch of stuff away – I did, but there’s still so much more
Be happy with my body Meh, happier than I was. Always striving to be better.
Write more
Find a cause
Cross Stitch
Take the kids camping
Paint the front stairs/garage
Be a better wife
Play more
Get a puppy
Veggies most
Increase mobility
Talk less
Be aware of facial expressions
I’d like to think I’ll be back later to write up some reflections on it all but I’m just not ready yet and if I know one thing, I know the likelihood of this actually happening is about 20%.
Christmas 2019
I missed the boat and the ship has sailed but I’ve always recorded my Christmas wish list and might as well keep the tradition alive.
Rothy’s.
Reverse Osmosis.
Lauren Daigle tickets.
Mattress topper.
That’s really it 🙂
Some days…
Some days are weird.
5AM- woke up, checked my emails and direct messages, poured a cup of coffee, read my Bible, read a book.
6:15- Caleb woke up and requested that I read my book out loud.
6:45 – Anna came downstairs and listened to the end of book.
7-8: Get ready for work, get the kids ready for school (dressed, lunches, bookbags, breakfast), pack a bag for gymnastics, make my breakfast and lunch, get kids out the door.
8:15 – take the kids to school.
8:30 – sit in the Y parking lot and eat my breakfast/listen to a podcast/read a book. Yes. All at once. I am a champion.
Up until this point, this is pretty much how every Friday rolls before I get to work. Maybe minus the reading out loud part. I also occasionally do laundry and the dishes during this time.
9-3PM- work.
I don’t know why today was weird. Neither of my immediate supervisors were there most of today and I think I probably lean on their energy quite a bit. Maybe it’s because I’m transitioning roles, maybe it was the weather, maybe it was that we weren’t very busy. I don’t know.
I also had a WTF headache. One of those that was just wretched. It made me want to cry. This keeps happening and I can’t figure it out.
I should probably call the doctor
3:10 – I should have been leaving to get the kids but I was running late and couldn’t make myself hurry. I ended up picking them up at 3:20 and it was fine. Bennett’s teacher spoke so highly of him and his class
3:45-4:45 – Gymnastics. Ugh. I love love love watching my girl and the boys are so good at playing during this hour. Today I could tell this other mom wanted to talk and she seemed really nice but my headache was lingering and I just couldn’t. I hate when I get like that. I don’t know when it happened. I used to talk to anyone any time about anything. In my defense, I was so tired by that point that I could barely refrain from laying on the floor and napping.
5:05- home. The kids have snacks and I snuck up to Anna’s bed because it’s cozy and she has blackout curtains. Can I just go to bed?
6:15 – Suck it up. Start dinner. Do the dishes. Finish the laundry. Look at alll the LEGO things the kids have built. Wait. Look again. One more time. It’s so cool!!
I love it all, so, so much.
But today I’m tired.
And I have a headache.
Some days are like that.
Tomorrow will be better.
2018 Christmas Wish List
Only because it’s become a tradition.
An 8 qt. Instantpot.- These Birkestocks because no one is more annoyed by my Nike slides than I am.
Marley’s Monsters reusable facial rounds.- A giftcard from Aerie.
- The Illustrated Harry Potter Books. All of them eventually but the first for now.
- This Harry Potter lamp, or something similar.
- This coffee mug…I don’t know why.
Gnomes. Any variation of the guys linked. Ornaments, decorations, anything…I’m obsessed.- BarBella active wear subscription box. Specifically the December stuff.
- Ian Cron is selling Enneagram coffee mugs!!
But most of all: Menard’s giftcards so we can do all the projects and SELL OUR CURSED HOUSE. It’s not cursed, I just want to be gone.
There are other things. I’ll probably edit a few times. I’d also like to add a list of things I think would make great gifts for other people even though I don’t necessarily want them for myself 🙂
ABC Feipel 